April 23, 2021

DCTRS

Damascus Center for Theoretical and Civil Rights Studies

Mario Lopez is a hot Colonel Sanders in a new movie. But why?

Get ready for buckets of drama: Mario Lopez is Col. Harland Sanders in a new mini-movie sponsored by — you guessed it — KFC.

Those who haven’t tired of playing I Love You, Colonel Sanders! A Finger Lickin’ Good Dating Simulator should grab their popcorn ahead of “A Recipe for Seduction,” which is aimed at women who love men who love chicken. A trailer for the flick dropped Monday, revealing a tongue-in-cheek take on the Lifetime romance movie genre.

“As the holidays draw near, a young heiress contends with the affections of a suitor handpicked by her mother. When the handsome chef, Harland Sanders, arrives with his secret fried chicken recipe and a dream, he sets in motion a series of events that unravels the mother’s devious plans,” reads the description on the channel’s website.

Perfect. 2020. Gift. (Not to mention an interesting departure from Lopez’s current star turn as A.C. Slater in Peacock’s acclaimed revival of “Saved by the Bell.”)

Lopez as Sanders is — what’s the word — epic? Awkward? Odd? A poor use of spray-on gray on a fake Van Dyke hairstyle? There’s a new chef in town, ma’am, and he has what ingenue Jessica calls “a secret recipe that’s gonna change the world.”

“Jessica is falling for Harland,” her mother says, panicking telenovela style. The man she has chosen to wed her daughter replies, incredulously, “The cook?”

A few scenes later in the trailer, the suitor is muttering “Secret’s out, chicken man” and threatening the captive Colonel with a big kitchen knife while the mother screams madly, “Just kill him already!”

That’s a lot of angst for what we presume is basically a love story. With knives. And 11 herbs and spices.

“A Recipe for Seduction” will run for 15 whole minutes on Lifetime starting at noon Pacific Sunday.